Things I’ve Learned.

With 22 years under my belt, there are a few things I’d like to share with you. Some realizations are my own, others I’ve stolen from friends and coworkers, and some were borrowed from various internet sources collected along the way. Either way, take a few. Read them. Share them. Let them inspire you. Laugh. Think back and smile. Agree. Comment. Shake your head at the ridiculousness of a few. But most of all, know that I appreciate your procrastination skills at their best right now, since I’m sure you have better things to do than read my useless blog tonight.

  • I can take my phone out of my purse, look at it, and put it back two or three times before I actually realize what time it is.
  • Parents are the reason we have Limited Profiles on Facebook. No one wants their mother looking through pictures of them getting wasted with their friends when they were 16.
  • There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re positive you’re going to die when you tip a little too far back in your chair.
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? They never get dirty and you can wear them forever.
  • Everyone should have a go-to karaoke song.
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between hunger and boredom.
  • I would rather carry ten bags of groceries into my house than have to go back to my car for a second trip.
  • The freezer deserves a light as well.
  • If it’s not on Facebook, it’s not official. I know this sucks, but you know it’s true. And it kind of hurts a little when someone denies your friend request.
  • I automatically dislike you when you tell me you hate gay people. These days, it’s almost as unintelligent as saying that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
  • Bad decisions make great stories.
  • Hangovers are cured only if you combine coffee, water, IB Profin, breakfast of some sorts, a cold shower, deleting texts from last night, talking about what exactly happened with the other people that were there, and then complaining on Facebook about how lousy you feel. In that exact order.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you are wrong.
  • The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
  • More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so I can tell my own story that is not only better, but more directly involves me.
  • Every time I hear a recording of my own voice, I am convinced that I would not be friends with me, even if I was someone else.

There’s a billion more, but perhaps there will be a “Things I’ve Learned: Part Deux.” Have more? Feel free to share.


It’s National Coming Out Day.

No, I’m not coming out. However, I am a strong supporter of equal rights. We did it for women, we did it for African Americans, now let’s do it for LGBTs. Here’s a few facts for all you haters out there. Perhaps one day you’ll change your minds.

  • 24 countries currently allow gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military. Not including the US.
  • 7 countries give rights to LGBT couples, and Spain gives the exact same rights to straight and gay marriages. The US does not.
  • Only 5 states (plus our nation’s capital, DC) recognize marriage equality, while 30 states have actually banned same-sex marriage.
  • Almost 90% of LGBT youth experience harassment in school.
  • Over 14,000 service members have been discharged from the military under the failed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law.
  • In 29 states, you can be fired from your job for being lesbian, gay or bisexual and in 38 states for being transgender.
  • 61% of Americans believe that transgender individuals should be legally protected from discrimination.

One of the most irritating, annoying, ridiculous arguments against gay marriage and homosexuality comes from those whose only source of reason is one single book. A book that has been translated into English from Hebrew and Greek. A book that is interpreted to mean however you intend it to mean. A book with 25 English versions and old school language. A book they like to call the Bible. Back to my point: those against LGBTs who use the Bible as their “moral compass,” whether they interpret or take each sentence literally, 1) are living in another century and 2) can be disputed in every argument they make (most of the time using the same piece of literature). I had a good friend tell me that the Bible does, in fact, state directly that homosexuality is wrong and sinners will go to Hell. However, with my own research (and help from a wonderful ethics professor), I have concluded that this idea is completely asinine and a ploy of homophobic religious fanatics to call LGBTs “immoral.”

First off, let me clarify that the Bible was written in Hebrew and Greek. We, as English speaking people, translated it into our own language. There are words in some languages that we simply cannot translate properly, giving the original word justice. Let’s take “ilunga,” or theĀ  south-eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo Tshiluba word meaning “person who is ready to forgive any abuse the first time it occurs, to tolerate it the second time, but to neither forgive nor tolerate a third offense,” for instance. There is no word in the English language to specify what is meant by “ilunga.” Let’s take it back a few centuries, with the word “arsenokoitai.” Corinthians and Timothy both use this word, which when literally translated into two parts, “arsen” means “man“; “koitai” means “beds.” There is a lot more evidence backing up how the Bible did not mean “homosexuality,” but instead, a man pretending to sleep with a woman or so forth, but I’d rather you just read this page yourself. It’s rather informative.

Anyway, here’s another difference in in translations. My good friend took the 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 from one version:

“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people – none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.”

While I took the “translation to end all translations” version from the King James Bible:

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”

Which version is the correct translation? Only the ancient Greeks know the answer to that. Okay, well now that I’ve turned this pro-LGBT post into a religion rant, it’s about time to recover from Insanity, day two. My body is stiff and like jello all at the same time. Possible? Apparently. It was rather intense, but I didn’t puke today. Proud? Hope so! Anyway, I encourage you to check out the links, and let me know what you think. I enjoy stirring things up a bit from time to time.